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That’s how it goes. You put a horse movie out and the chicks go crazy.
– Sweetie, who doesn’t understand this phenomenon
Skrillex? Who is that?… *Google Images* …Oh haha… wait… Is that Sonny?… *Wikipedia* …It’s Sonny! Yeah, he’s best friends with my friend and he was at that party and I think that one girl kissed him but anyway…
– Sweetie, who didn’t know she knows Skrillex
He really wants my whipped cream, but he’s distracted by booty rubs.
– Sweetie, about the cat
You don’t know ‘The Joker’ by the Steve Miller Band? You’re almost cool but you’re really not.
– Sweetie, who is a music snob
Hey, you can work at Michael’s and then kill yourself.
– Sweetie, who is helping me get a job and has strong opinions
I wouldn’t spend $100 on a vibrator. That’s $100 of music, now there’s pleasure.
– Sweetie, who is an awesome music person.
$5 for coffee?! It doesn’t even have any alcohol in it!
– Sweetie, who knows her coffee and alcohol
I get a boner thinking about her.
– Sweetie, who is female
Thug life… Oh shit! Our tea is gonna be a little bitter.
– Sweetie, who knows the OGs love green tea, too
Why is there a Sacramento Kings mug here? I don’t even like football.
– Sweetie, who likes basketball
I knew it! You were never in love with me, you just wanted my tomatoes!
– Sweetie, who only cares about tomatoes
I’m a thug.
– Sweetie, who is a thug
I can’t help it if you and your lady are homeslices for life. Just like me and my lady.
– Sweetie, who has been away from civilization for a while
Have you actually been posting stuff… really?
– Sweetie, who hasn’t seen this blog yet
You’re not being with me. You’re being with the table.
– Sweetie, who might be jealous of the table
That’s how it goes. You put a horse movie out and the chicks go crazy.
– Sweetie, who doesn’t understand this phenomenon
Skrillex? Who is that?… *Google Images* …Oh haha… wait… Is that Sonny?… *Wikipedia* …It’s Sonny! Yeah, he’s best friends with my friend and he was at that party and I think that one girl kissed him but anyway…
– Sweetie, who didn’t know she knows Skrillex
He really wants my whipped cream, but he’s distracted by booty rubs.
– Sweetie, about the cat
You don’t know ‘The Joker’ by the Steve Miller Band? You’re almost cool but you’re really not.
– Sweetie, who is a music snob
Hey, you can work at Michael’s and then kill yourself.
– Sweetie, who is helping me get a job and has strong opinions
I wouldn’t spend $100 on a vibrator. That’s $100 of music, now there’s pleasure.
– Sweetie, who is an awesome music person.
$5 for coffee?! It doesn’t even have any alcohol in it!
– Sweetie, who knows her coffee and alcohol
I get a boner thinking about her.
– Sweetie, who is female
Thug life… Oh shit! Our tea is gonna be a little bitter.
– Sweetie, who knows the OGs love green tea, too
Why is there a Sacramento Kings mug here? I don’t even like football.
– Sweetie, who likes basketball
I knew it! You were never in love with me, you just wanted my tomatoes!
– Sweetie, who only cares about tomatoes
I’m a thug.
– Sweetie, who is a thug
I can’t help it if you and your lady are homeslices for life. Just like me and my lady.
– Sweetie, who has been away from civilization for a while
Have you actually been posting stuff… really?
– Sweetie, who hasn’t seen this blog yet
You’re not being with me. You’re being with the table.
– Sweetie, who might be jealous of the table
"That’s how it goes. You put a horse movie out and the chicks go crazy."
"Skrillex? Who is that?… *Google Images* …Oh haha… wait… Is that Sonny?… *Wikipedia* …It’s Sonny! Yeah, he’s best friends with my friend and he was at that party and I think that one girl kissed him but anyway…"
"He really wants my whipped cream, but he’s distracted by booty rubs."
"You don’t know ‘The Joker’ by the Steve Miller Band? You’re almost cool but you’re really not."
"Hey, you can work at Michael’s and then kill yourself."
"I wouldn’t spend $100 on a vibrator. That’s $100 of music, now there’s pleasure."
"$5 for coffee?! It doesn’t even have any alcohol in it!"
"I get a boner thinking about her."
"Thug life… Oh shit! Our tea is gonna be a little bitter."
"Why is there a Sacramento Kings mug here? I don’t even like football."
"I knew it! You were never in love with me, you just wanted my tomatoes!"
"I’m a thug."
"I can’t help it if you and your lady are homeslices for life. Just like me and my lady."
"Have you actually been posting stuff… really?"
"You’re not being with me. You’re being with the table."

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A collection of my girlfriend's abundant ridiculous sayings.

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